Gifts & Gratitudes

Tonight we stumbled together upon the thought that both over-thanking, and under-thanking can be signs of coercive thinking. 

The first is self-degrading, in the sense that when you over-thank someone, it could give off the impression that you don't consider yourself worthy of their gift. 

The second is self-indulgent and entitled, in the sense that when you 'under-thank' someone, it could give off the impression that you consider yourself worthy of their 'gift' in the sense that really they are just paying back a debt to you. A 'deserving' perspective. 

Both incidents can be signs of a coercive dynamic that exists in the way we think about entitlement, and self-depreciation as polarized constructs of the same dynamic.